They Call it Geeky, I Call it Coping

Obsessive. Nagging. Nerdy. Geeky. All of the above. According to both friends and foes growing up, those words seemed to define me. They latched onto me and their negative connotations brought me down day after day. Especially in Middle School; man, that place was a hellhole.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve always felt to need to have something to obsess over. A movie, a TV show, a book, a song. I would spend afternoons rewatching Harry Potter or nights reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower over and over and over again. And of course, I would talk just about anybody’s ear off about my current obsession. When I was about 14 years old, I began to notice my friends making fun of me for obsessing over my favorite things, and I sunk into a quiet loneliness in which I would keep my favorites to myself. I started to question what was wrong with me: why am I like this? Why am I such a “geek”?
Over time, I’ve come to realize that this obsessiveness is a part of who I am. I find something that I love and I watch it, read it, or listen to it as many times as I see fit. These things make me happy. And during the long gaps of time during which I’ve lost motivation to read or my favorite TV shows are all off air, I do fall into feelings of depression or sadness. So instead of criticizing myself, I embrace it. Currently, I’ve been binge watching Doctor Who because the story keeps me interested and makes me happy, and the characters inspire me. And I’m proud about it! (Seriously. I’ll talk your ear off if you give me the time…)
I suppose what I am trying to say through all of this is that all of us have our little quirks. But as long as those quirks make you happy, nobody has the right to tell you it’s weird. Do you. Do what makes you happy. Watch those “weird” TV shows and listen to that “annoying” music because as long as it’s making you happy, it’s not weird or annoying. It’s awesome. And to anybody who ever criticized me for talking about what makes me happy: I’m doing me. And don’t you dare try to tell me to stop.

Author: erinlmoynihan

Writer, reader, traveler & activist

2 thoughts on “They Call it Geeky, I Call it Coping”

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